Answer: Children start kindergarten at different skill and developmental levels, and many will catch up as the year progresses. Try not to correct your child too often, but if there’s no progress during the year or if you’re concerned about the teacher’s approach, another professional’s input might be helpful. Your instincts and your child’s attitude towards the teacher will help you decide whether to intervene. If that point comes, ask someone you trust for a referral to get a simple, cognitive evaluation—just to better understand your child’s specific learning style.

You’re right. Sometimes it’s a developmental thing, and other times teachers can use a little guidance from a respected professional in the area. A cognitive evaluation—testing motor and language processing—is brief, child friendly and may be inexpensive or, if referred by your pediatrician, covered by medical insurance. Think of it as a “skills check-up” much the way children get physicals. A lot of kids would benefit from your healthy curiosity and sensitivity towards your child—and a lot of children would feel more comfortable in “big school,” if their unique qualities were better appreciated.

Dr. Ron Taffel, is a noted child and family therapist, and author of Parenting by Heart, Why Parents Disagree, Nurturing Good Children Now, The Second Family, and a guide for child professionals, Getting Through to Difficult Kids and Parents. He consults with and lectures at schools and community organizations around the country. He lives in New York City with his wife and children.

Advice from our experts is not a substitute for medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified health-care provider familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's medical or emotional condition.

September 2005